{"id":39645,"date":"2023-05-15T00:00:49","date_gmt":"2023-05-15T00:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/35.242.183.235.nip.io\/wpadmin2\/?p=39645"},"modified":"2025-07-16T17:55:06","modified_gmt":"2025-07-16T17:55:06","slug":"unborn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zealous.co\/about\/spotlights\/unborn\/","title":{"rendered":"Unborn"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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‘Unborn’ by Lucy Cross<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Congratulations winning the Public Vote for Zealous Amplify: Mental Health and Wellbeing! What is currently on your mind?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d love to say thank you to the Zealous team for providing such a great opportunity and creating important dialogue around mental health and wellbeing. I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being chronically ill can be lonely and isolating. However, sharing my story has helped to create stronger bonds with existing friends and family, other patients, incredible creatives and even strangers. My work has encouraged others to share their personal stories and I feel so honoured that I\u2019ve been able to offer them that outlet and learn about the difficult journeys they\u2019ve experienced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I really connected with Andy\u2019s work \u201cThe Shortest of Moments\u201d \u2013 I guess the themes of our pieces weren\u2019t a million miles apart. His installation was so moving and haunting and he conveyed the reliving of memories of his late son Edward so effectively. I\u2019d love to see it live somewhere to really experience the impact of the light and sound. Anita Clipston\u2019s \u201cHeld in Grief\u201d was really special too. Turning trauma into art is such a vulnerable process and should be thoroughly commended, especially when it\u2019s executed so brilliantly. I just can\u2019t believe the standard of all the submissions, and I feel really proud to have had my work exhibited alongside them. A huge congratulations and thank you to everyone involved!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Your winning entry, \u2018Unborn\u2019, is an artistic poetry recital which addresses the physical & psychological battles that disabled people face, highlighting areas which are often stigmatised. How did it feel to explore such a difficult and personal idea?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing the piece was a really cathartic process. This year, I had my first positive interaction with an endometriosis specialist and suddenly, in a PTSD-like way, all of the bad experiences I\u2019d had as a result of being ill for so long came flooding back and I had to put them down on paper. The content came so naturally but it felt almost like an out-of-body experience, as though the person who went through all of this trauma wasn\u2019t me. The weird part was that I was viewing myself as though I was any child living through an experience like mine. It sounds dissociated but I actually felt more connected as I find it far easier to care for other people than for myself. I realised I had to share the most difficult, flawed, and vulnerable parts of me to help raise awareness and stop other people from feeling alone or like less of a person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Considering the delivery was tricky. Reciting the poem helped make it more relatable, I believe. I didn\u2019t want for it to be over-performed. I tried to settle for an authentic and honest approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sharing the work, however, gave me anxiety. It made me feel more fragile and putting myself and my journey out there so candidly for the world to see was hard. I felt I was presenting myself as undateable, unemployable, and pessimistic. I imagine viewers were just as uncomfortable watching it, as I was sharing it, but ultimately, I think there is value in that. There is nothing comfortable about endometriosis, after all. It was just so important for me to offer an accurate account for the sake of other people who are struggling silently in all of the same ways. I\u2019m coming to terms with my own circumstances, and I guess other people\u2019s acceptance shouldn\u2019t be important, but I was lucky to have such a supportive and positive response to the poem and I felt really understood and validated.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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The poem takes the form of a letter, written to your imagined, unborn daughter, Maisie. The end of every line rhymes with \u201cMaisie\u201d. What informed this artistic choice?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided on this construct to emphasise that Maisie would\u2019ve been the centre of everything, given the opportunity. I just always thought I would be a mum; no one tells you that isn\u2019t a given when you\u2019re growing up. My aim was to produce a rhythm when the words were spoken to give the poem the kind of momentum, which I hoped would continue on some larger scale beyond the poem being read. The intentionally repetitive cadence also helps to reflect the relentlessness of an endometriosis patient\u2019s battle. I address both the viewer and Maisie as \u201cyou\u201d interchangeably throughout the poem to demonstrate the realisation that the only nurturing, maternal role I\u2019m likely to play is to people who aren\u2019t my biological children because \u201cthere is a child inside of everybody.\u201d In essence, the viewer becomes Maisie.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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You talk quite openly about your experience with endometriosis. Do you think that being open with experiences like this can help to remove the stigma?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think if we are to remove stigma, we need to generate better understanding. Understanding can result from open and honest discussion and such conversations can be limited when subjects are considered taboo. I want to normalise talking about difficult topics like menstrual and mental health. They are simply human experiences. Everyone has lived through something hard, and I don\u2019t want people suffering in silence out of a fear of being judged or shamed. I think openness breeds openness; \u201cbe so completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The medical field is unfortunately rooted in sexism so raising awareness of reproductive health conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis, polycystic ovary syndrome and premenstrual dysphoric disorder is really important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People are very dismissive of endometriosis because they regard it as purely a painful period. Patients are frequently told they\u2019re fine and criticised for being dramatic. I wanted to demonstrate it is so much more than a bad period, which is actually why I never outright mentioned the word \u201cperiod\u201d in the poem. I can\u2019t imagine a child coming to me and telling me they\u2019re in pain or unwell and my effectively telling them they\u2019re fine, normal, making it up, or that they should go away. This is the part that upsets me the most and I believe it results from stigma; it takes great courage to speak up and reach out but then patients aren\u2019t believed by their families, peers, teachers and doctors when they fail to get an accurate diagnosis and the disease is invisible. When your reality is denied, it brings a whole new level of suffering. The collection of symptoms should be easy to recognise as endometriosis. I think because I\u2019m such an optimistic, resilient and determined individual, people have been shocked to learn the full extent of the disease and to see me express the situation in such a dark way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We live in a society where we become defined by the material and superficial \u2013 what job you have, how much you earn, what you own, or how you look. When you\u2019re chronically ill, all of these things are typically stripped away, which can lead to a battle with your own identity but ultimately the realisation that none of those things ever truly defined your self-worth anyway. You begin to look inside yourself and it\u2019s a growth process that is rewarding and that many people would actually benefit from going through. It\u2019s liberating to live authentically and yet stigma can prevent us from doing so.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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What would you like to say to someone who is going through the same struggles as you are?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Persistence is absolutely key with endometriosis and any health concern to be honest. Especially if your situation is complex and invisible, you\u2019re likely to be dismissed and ignored relentlessly. My advice would be just to keep going. Even if you have to change doctor dozens of times, don\u2019t feel stupid or embarrassed. Keep persisting until someone believes you, takes you seriously or is willing to run the appropriate diagnostic tests. You\u2019re going to have to do your own research and be your own advocate, unfortunately, and the sooner you realise this, the better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With endometriosis, it\u2019s really important to find a BSGE endometriosis specialist. Your average gynecologist won\u2019t be experienced in excision surgery, which is considered the gold standard. However, because endometriosis is so under-researched and under-funded, even the best specialists will have their limitations. There aren\u2019t enough of them, for starters. Bear in mind there are multiple causes of pelvic pain (urinary tract infections, pelvic inflammatory disease, adenomyosis, fibroids, etc.) and tests can come back with false negatives. A pelvic MRI can be really helpful but frequently endometriosis will not be detected on ultrasound or MRI. This fact doesn\u2019t mean you don\u2019t have it. A laparoscopy is currently the only way to receive a definitive diagnosis. Do your own research about treatments and talk to other patients about their experiences. Don\u2019t feel pressured into any treatment with which you\u2019re not comfortable. Also, cut out chemicals (cosmetics, cleaning products, etc.) and replace them with safer, natural alternatives. In my opinion, reducing your toxic load is the single, best thing you can do for your body as chemicals are well-known endocrine disruptors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-belief is really important when you\u2019re being dismissed and gaslit. Find a supportive community who will validate and back you and remind you that you\u2019re going to be ok and you\u2019re not alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overall, the main message should be for the people who don\u2019t have endometriosis. The world would be a much kinder place if it didn\u2019t negate, judge and shame. There\u2019s no harm in just giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they tell you they\u2019re hurting. Just because you may not understand something, it doesn\u2019t mean a person\u2019s struggle isn\u2019t real. \u201cI believe you,\u201d is enough to change someone\u2019s entire experience.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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‘Unborn’ by Lucy Cross<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What does self-care look like to you?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the depressing nature of my poetry, day-to-day I like to keep things light. I don\u2019t mean toxic positivity; I\u2019m a great believer in feeling things just as they are, the good and the bad. All feelings are valid. However, I cherish any opportunity for a smile and a laugh because it truly is the best medicine. As Charles Dickens said in \u201cA Christmas Carol,\u201d \u201cThere is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.\u201d I enjoy journaling funny happenings so that I can look back on them too. I like to do daily affirmations to keep my self-talk positive and mindfulness techniques help me to stay in the present moment. The little things are important to me; being out in nature, gentle movement, breathing exercises, music and singing support my mental health. I really value healthy routines, but they become hard when you\u2019re ill; if possible, having a consistent sleeping pattern and regular, nourishing meals is really helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Personal development is important to me too; I\u2019ve spent a lot of time learning about attachment theory, acknowledging and fulfilling my own needs and establishing healthy boundaries. It\u2019s been a great lesson in self-preservation. I like to give myself permission to rest, always strive for peace and practice gratitude and forgiveness. I think believing in yourself and letting go of judgement are life changing. Whilst it\u2019s important to acknowledge negative emotions, I try not to sit with them for too long. Of course, we must remember that our physical and mental health are inextricably linked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can find more of Lucy\u2019s work on her Instagram<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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